I’m always a little hesitant to post a photo such as this with a blog; as part of me believes my body is to just be enjoyed by the committed partner that doesn’t care if everything is perfectly in place, the frequent blemish, or the whisker on my chin and knows me for so much more. And then there is my 80 year old self that knows as well. She chimes in and says “Do it”! She says this because she knows the journey I’ve been through, the battles I’ve won, and the motives I have at almost 42.
She knows this body is impermanent, this life an illusion, and this photograph is art. She knows I am beautiful and the story I want to share and the questions I want to ask that are in service to help awaken those that are asleep (myself included) and possibly move us beyond the culture we have been raised in as Americans.
She knows the deep current of the embodiment of flow and creation, and the simple PURE JOY of being a woman. Today is a celebrated day in India that honors Saraswati, she is the Hindu Goddess that represents the divine energy of creation. Her body is made of mantra as the creative force of music, voice and devotion. Her work in the world is to help others discover their gifts and purpose. My given name by Mataji is Vani which is another name for Saraswati. When I can die to the ego of selfishness and fear and allow myself to surrender to flow, grace, and truth, I align with this great flow. But flow cannot be accomplished alone…as some others may believe..We need each other. We need to separate the real from the false during these times.
Many of us are feeling the change and the pull to a better america. And we are rising as females in a way like never before, beyond the women’s liberation moment to something even more spiritual, powerful and healing for the entire world; both men and women.
I was riding to the ashram with a Native American man about 6 years ago and he warned me of what would come for women. He said that men had the power and they abused it and now it is time for women to awaken because the are stepping into power. I felt the weight of responsibility but swept it under the rug. Now i feel the rug being pulled our from under me like sand that the waves of the ocean are sifting beneath my feet. I, like many women awakening today, cannot deny our response-ability. Men too!
There is a balance happening and it requires both men and women. Becoming truly our feminine and masculine selves. It is time to return to our roots and relationship and discover our wisdom and power that is rooted in truth.
Power has been confused in the past by our culture of walking all over people to get what we want, control, sexual abuse, and misconduct. As well as the separation caused by our “get happiness here” superficial marketplace and quick fix mentality that come to get rich, well and fed as fast as possible and all at once. That could mean spending more time with our family, in the garden, in self care, and with our tribe having conversations like this.
We are all called into the forest now, as this is the time of remembrance. What do we need to remember? What it is like to be part of the tribe of a man and woman. Women need women and men need men. Face to face, often and in an authentic, vulnerable, and safe space.
I have struggled with relationship to food, my body, knowing and caring for myself, my mother, other women, sexuality, sensuality, and men. Which is why I choose to strip down for art and face these battles beyond the sacred and sanctity of my holy body. This has been a healing way of facing what I am aligning with beyond myself and the battles I am willing to fight within myself.
“One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.”-James Russell Lowell
Know what you are up against. The reality of external and internal outdated habits and beliefs.
Art can be a powerful catalyst for the resistance and change. Change that necessary now to become fully compassionate and truthful people carrying out God’s wisdom and purpose for us.
For me as a woman entrepreneur I have never regretted surrounding myself with the powerful truth-speaking and living women that are my tribe. I have never regretting fighting the occasional battle of a law suit, or securing a space for our community to thrive; or clarifying our purpose and mission of what we bring to the world of yoga authentically.
What I have regretted are the battles I didn’t fight due to slipping into people pleasing, guilt, or worry of what other people thought or perceived; even if I knew it was’t true.
As women.. beauty, peace, and relationship are our gifts to the world(and part of our stress response-tend and befriend-even if it means making shit up.. unfortunately). We must play our gifts among the tapestry and truth and among the support of other authentic, awake, and truthful women. I am grateful I am grace with so many and to be a force calling our troops. We can’t have this change in the world, without strong woman who are willing to listen, speak truth, and open up to our flaws and fairy tails.
I have been called airy fairy when I say yes too much and turn the other cheek, and a shrewd.. or that I’ve changed…when I have stood up and fought the battle for something greater. And it was even at times, unfortunately by other women!
I have been asking myself for the past year and a half what it means to be truly a woman as we are coming into leadership around the world and come to the conclusion that it is to be surrounded by other women with the truth, strength, and the grace that we possess. Not gossip, not insecurity, not people pleasing; but change!
And men..You need to be with other men. Men who will call you out on your shit of mistreating women, help them with their addictions to porn, drugs, alcohol work.. and help you to remember your self worth and heroism that we respect and love so much about you!
What can we do now to begin this awakening? Gather. Look beyond all the superficial relationships and fantasy, and into something deeper. We are rising up as men and women in america and we need to be supported by a bigger tribe than the one on social media. Start a mens and woman’s circle. Find a church and yoga community. Meet for tea with those people that have your back and keep talking to that 80 year old fierce woman( or heroic man).. because they will be the change we want to see in the world.
Salutations to Saraswati on this day.
Om Aim Hrim
Kleem Maha Saraswati Devaya